Senate Obituary
Dear editor
Now that the United States Senate has failed to cut off debate on the immigration bill, failing to find some form of a solution for the ever increasing problem of illegal immigration, it has shown itself to be completely incapable of carrying on the work of the people it claims to represent. In effect it has died and an obituary seems timely, which I hereby submit:
Washington, DC: The United States Senate died on June 7, 2007. A longtime resident of this city for over 200 years, the Senate struggled against, but finally succumbed to, cancer of the political party and its associated complications of lobbyitis, presidential lack of leadership, loss of independence, loss of purpose, evangelicalism and utter arrogance. Death followed a long sickness which first showed signs of major mental and physical demise six years ago. It is survived by its sister institutions, the House of Representatives, the Supreme Court, and the Executive Branch.
Born in Philadelphia to proud parents, the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, the Senate was proficient in both national and international law. Earning a reputation as the country’s greatest debating society and America’s most exclusive club, its independence caused its members to sometimes be referred to as “The Cardinals of Capitol Hill.” Unlike its sister House of Representatives, the Senate, thanks to its six year terms, did not bow to the whims of popular opinion, but rather to long, considered debates, and judiciously passed laws for the benefit of all citizens, majority, minority, or of any religious faith. Over stormy years it sometimes stumbled in its desire to do right, but it always kept its Senatorial bearing and independence. The loss of these caused the demise of that August body.
Funeral arrangements are being handled by Earmarks, Inc. Pall bearers will be; the oil and gas industries, the credit card industry, the logging industry, the automobile industry, the pharmaceutical industry, the gun industry, President Bush, profiteers, and Vice-President Cheney. It will be a closed coffin funeral, at the request of the family, due to the complete loss of face of the late United States Senate. May it rest in peace.
Now that the United States Senate has failed to cut off debate on the immigration bill, failing to find some form of a solution for the ever increasing problem of illegal immigration, it has shown itself to be completely incapable of carrying on the work of the people it claims to represent. In effect it has died and an obituary seems timely, which I hereby submit:
Washington, DC: The United States Senate died on June 7, 2007. A longtime resident of this city for over 200 years, the Senate struggled against, but finally succumbed to, cancer of the political party and its associated complications of lobbyitis, presidential lack of leadership, loss of independence, loss of purpose, evangelicalism and utter arrogance. Death followed a long sickness which first showed signs of major mental and physical demise six years ago. It is survived by its sister institutions, the House of Representatives, the Supreme Court, and the Executive Branch.
Born in Philadelphia to proud parents, the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, the Senate was proficient in both national and international law. Earning a reputation as the country’s greatest debating society and America’s most exclusive club, its independence caused its members to sometimes be referred to as “The Cardinals of Capitol Hill.” Unlike its sister House of Representatives, the Senate, thanks to its six year terms, did not bow to the whims of popular opinion, but rather to long, considered debates, and judiciously passed laws for the benefit of all citizens, majority, minority, or of any religious faith. Over stormy years it sometimes stumbled in its desire to do right, but it always kept its Senatorial bearing and independence. The loss of these caused the demise of that August body.
Funeral arrangements are being handled by Earmarks, Inc. Pall bearers will be; the oil and gas industries, the credit card industry, the logging industry, the automobile industry, the pharmaceutical industry, the gun industry, President Bush, profiteers, and Vice-President Cheney. It will be a closed coffin funeral, at the request of the family, due to the complete loss of face of the late United States Senate. May it rest in peace.
posted by Sam Schoolsky | 6:37 AM
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